THIS ANTHEM

Today, I should be writing one of my CCIP exams, the final one actually.

And here I am hoping I have prepared enough, checked out a couple of mails and I saw this mail from a friend with the British anthem. Ok, let’s check it out! Cool! How about that of Nigeria?, Youtube to the rescue.

And there goes Beyonce singing my anthem. Jeez! You need to check it out.

Towards the end,

…One nation bound in freedom,

Peace and Unity.

I felt a rush of Pride soar within me that I thought this moment was worth documenting. Even if sometimes, I don’t see one reason to be proud of my country, I will still stand by it anyway. IT IS HOME. IT IS MY ANTHEM. IT IS WHO I AM.

I am PROUDLY NIGERIAN. Whhhhhhhhhhhhhoooooooooooooooooooooooooooppppppppps!!!!!!

Sorry, this might not be cohesive or structured as you thought it would be, but it’s how my thoughts were generated.

A collection of stupid Jokes.

Well, I am not sure this is the end of this. Let's call it Part 1.
By the way, I also credited the guys who sent them to me.

I hope you enjoy them.

Chi…

Kyle's dad brought home a robot 1day. The robot has the ability to detect lies and would slap the person who lied on the face.Kyle returned late from school and dad asked, "Son why are you late from school?"."Dad, we had extra classes today".The robot slapped Kyle on his face. Dad shouted "Now com'n tell me the truth. Why are you late?" "Dad, I went to a movie" "Which movie?" "The Ten Commandments" Immediately, Kyle got anoda slap from the robot . "Sorry Dad, I went to see the movie "Sex Queen"."Shame on you son, when I was your age I never watched obscene movies or misbehaved" Immediately, the dad gets a hot slap on the face from the robot.Kyle's mother comes walking out of the kitchen and says to her husband, "After all he is ur son!!!" The robot steps up and gives Kyle's mother a slap.

Ola…

man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send a mail to his wife. However, he accidentally typed a wrong address, and without realizing he sent the mail. Meanwhile Somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned from her husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her mail, expecting condolence messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she fainted. The son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read: To: My Loving Wife, Subject: I've reached. I know you are surprised to hear from me. They have Computers here, and we are allowed to send mails to loved ones. I've just reached and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival 2mrrow

A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land, for $150." The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home. The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $150?" The man replied, "Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance."

What's the difference between biology and sociology? A: When the baby looks like his dad or mom, it’s biology. When the baby looks like the neighbor, then it is sociology.

And here's a 5 minute Management course.

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks,
'Who was that?'
'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.
'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2:

A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.' Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk.
'I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.' Puff! She's gone.

'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.' Puff! He's gone.

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'

Moral of the story:

Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5

A turkey was chatting with a bull. 'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.' 'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.' The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..

Lesson 6

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.(3) And when you're in deep shit, but warm and comfortable, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

I am scared- Extracts from Guardian Newspaper 20/05/2008

EXPLORING THE PAST.

...suffering Nigerians who watched their government sell crude oil at $100 per barrel of an aggregate two million barrels daily, only for them to live in perpetual darkness, wallow in unemployment, have no potable water, no roads, fallen education standards and no shelter.

• Lawrence is Secretary General, National League of Veteran Journalists.

A FUTURE DREAM.

I believe that all talent given to man must be used to serve community. To shrink from such citizen duty because you fear being disparaged by people who have not understood you or lack the discipline to understand is to die while you still breathe and to provide history evidence for judging you harshly. So, contest that public space.

• Professor Utomi is a former Presidential candidate

Hmmm...IS THIS VIEW NOT NARROW?

"This problem was more than 50 years in the making and it clearly cannot be solved in the life of this administration .... But I think that the important thing is that the current administration has identified it as one of the very challenges that it has to tackle and a son of the (Soil) myself, I think what we are asking for is evidence that the past is past and the future will be brighter.

• Ajumogbia is a serving Minister of the Federal Republic

I am not done yet.

The Style Made Man (Art critic extraordinaire)

Well Hi, Amazing you are still reading this blog. The only thing I can say is Muchos Gracias for trying to figure me out. I stopped trying. You can keep trying though. Location is still Barcelona Airport. Did I tell you, I was in Madrid before coming here? Ok, I was. Madrid is (I hope it still is) a nice city. While we were there, we visited a couple of places and this museum was one of them- Museo Reina Sofia. Well, I don’t know much of museums so I recommend it all the same. Point was Burcu asked to visit it, so why not? We should accommodate each other, right.

That’s not the crux. The point is while we were in this museo, we were fortunate to have on display, Picasso’s largest collection of pictures, which included his studio works, and I will help them by calling them his sketches. How else can I describe those?

And so, Mr. Picasso sketched but I am sure, even with my lack of any artistic sense, if I had drawn that way, 20 years ago, my teachers in Malomo, would not only fail me, they would also use the ‘pankere’ on me. That’s my opinion, so don’t kill me yet. (I am sure there is a comment button underneath, so please leave your comments. You are free to say your mind- It’s your opinion, huh!). I also had the opportunity to meet Ms Joan Miro and one Mr. Dali (or is it Daly) through their paintings and same applies. Mr. Dali, I felt more comfortable with but I tell you what, even He,… I reserve my inartistic criticism. Well, A museo-friendly friend of mine also mentioned that to see a Dali without visiting a museum is simple to do. Just a roll of mushrooms and you are ready. What can I say?

Well, I tried to restrain myself but couldn’t help it. I asked my museo-friendly travel companion why the Picassos, Miros and Dalis of this world couldn’t give me that artistic impression acclaimed to them. And the one answer she gave me which kind of satisfied me was this; each person had a STYLE. The style made the man.

It wasn’t because they were better than anyone; it was because they had a unique style. You see a Picasso painting and you recognized it immediately, or a Gaudi building and no one had to tell you who it was. STYLE!

I don’t think I should explain it more. THE STYLE MADE THE MEN. What’s your style?

P.S. Did I tell you I saw a T-Shirt here in Amsterdam with the caption: I am Dutch, who are you?

Momi kin mo e (INTRODUCTION)

One of the few things I have put off so much ever since I conceived the idea is this I am doing right now. Creating a blog. Everytime I think I should start, it’s all a grand idea and time to start, I start doubting it. Wondering if you would like to read it. And now, it cropped into my mind that it is not supposed to entertain you but to be a record of special events in my life. Events I really might not be able to talk about in detail like I would express it while writing.

Even now that I finally started, it’s kind of really odd, cos I am starting on my wordpad, and God helps me that I finally post this online. If you are reading this, then God be praised!!! I finally made it. If not, well, it means I am still contemplating it. Please, pray for me.

Now to location: I am in the aeropuerto de Barcelona (or Catalunya- I stopped checking), in the café and pans (if that’s the name), at 1.13am of the 4^th of May, 2008. if you care to know, I will be sleeping on hard wood for the night. Burcu and Tonio, my colleagues with whom I took this trip with are asleep already. Sleep in an airport, on a bench! no one said the timing had to be good, Just do it. Nike!

The Nike thingy brings to my mind, something Nike-like I did today (sorry yesterday). I was in the Nou Camp! (If you are reading this 20 years from now, and you don’t know where the Nou camp is, go back into the history of Spanish soccer and read about FC Barcelona. I shouldn’t help you with that, Should I?) I even bought the Jersey. To be sincere with you, I am still doubting the rationale of spending 57 Euros on the ticket and another 67.90 Euros on the Shirt, when my account is on negative. Well, one plus, which by the way doesn’t add a dime to my pocket is that Valencia was trashed 6 goals to nothing. We must have brought luck to the team. Like I said, just do it. (Easier said than done)

Anyway, I hope you will find this blog as I want you to. It’s my blog, not yours, so why should you have a say. And, please give me a reason why you should.